Explanation

  • Expresses strong disbelief, astonishment, or sometimes dismay.
  • Implies the news or statement is so surprising, unlikely, or absurd that it must be a joke ('kidding').
  • You've got to be kidding me is a more emphatic version.

Origin

  • Stems from the verb 'to kid', meaning to tease or joke, which became popular in the early 20th century.
  • The phrase uses this meaning to challenge the truth of a statement by suggesting it's a joke.
  • Got to be adds a layer of insistence or necessity, emphasizing the speaker's inability to believe the statement is true.

Alternatives

Slang/Informal:

  • You're messing with me. / Are you messing with me?
  • Are you pulling my leg? (Suggests playful deception)
  • Stop playin'. (AAVE telling someone to stop joking/be serious)
  • Are you for real?
  • Get outta here!
  • Shut up! (Used playfully to mean 'No way!')
  • Are you winding me up? (UK Are you teasing me?)

Vulgar/Emphatic:

  • Are you shitting me?
  • Are you fucking kidding me?

Milder:

  • Surely not? (UK)
  • You can't be serious.
  • Really?

Situational Appropriateness

  • Informal.
  • Suitable for conversations with friends, family, and sometimes colleagues depending on the workplace culture and the nature of the surprise (e.g., reacting to surprisingly good news vs. a major problem).
  • Can sound overly dramatic if used for minor surprises.

Misunderstanding Warnings

  • Non-native speakers might interpret it literally, thinking they are being accused of telling a deliberate lie or joke, rather than understanding it as an idiom expressing surprise.
  • The intensity might be missed if the listener isn't familiar with the common usage.

Examples

  • A: They lost my luggage. B: You're kidding me! Both bags?
  • You finished the entire project overnight? You've got to be kidding me!
  • A: He proposed! B: You're kidding me! Show me the ring!

Dialogue

Maria: Guess what? Dave and Sarah broke up.

Chloe: You're kidding me! They seemed so happy together.

Maria: I know, I was shocked too. Apparently, it happened last night.

Chloe: Wow. Just... wow.

Social Media Examples

  • Comment: They cancelled Season 3?! You're kidding me! 😭 #SaveOurShow
  • Tweet: My rent is going up 20%?? You've got to be kidding me. #CostOfLivingCrisis
  • DM: Wait u got the tickets?? U kidding me?! Lucky!

Response Patterns

  • Confirmation: Nope, I'm serious., I wish I was kidding., Fraid not. (UK/Aus informal 'Afraid not'), It's true!
  • Agreement/Shared Feeling: I know, it's unbelievable!, Crazy, right?
  • If it was a joke: Yeah, just kidding!, Gotcha!

Common Follow-up Questions/Actions

After confirmation (Nope, I'm serious):

  • Express further shock: Wow!, No way!, That's insane/terrible/amazing!
  • Ask for details: What happened?, How?, Tell me everything!

After discovering it was a joke:

  • Express playful annoyance or relief: Oh, you scared me!, Don't do that!, I knew it!

Conversation Starter

  • No.
  • It's a reaction to surprising information.

Intonation

  • Often spoken with a high pitch or wide intonation range to convey strong surprise.
  • Can have a rising intonation at the end, like a question demanding confirmation: You're KID-ding me?
  • Or a falling, more exclamatory tone, expressing shock: You've GOT to be KID-ding me!
  • Stress typically falls on KID-ding, and also GOT in the longer version.

Generation Differences

  • Very common and understood across most adult age groups (Millennials, Gen X, Boomers).

Regional Variations

  • Widely used and understood in all major English-speaking regions (AE, BE, AusE, CanE, etc.).
Seriously?