0301 Pain in the ass/neck - English Idioms

Explanation

Describes someone or something that is extremely annoying, troublesome, or difficult to deal with.
Pain in the neck is a milder, more polite euphemism for pain in the ass.

Origin

The phrase uses the literal idea of physical discomfort (pain) in a sensitive area (ass/buttocks or neck) metaphorically to represent intense irritation or bother.
Ass is vulgar, referring to the buttocks; using it emphasizes the high level of annoyance.
Neck serves as a less offensive substitute, likely chosen for its common association with stress or tension (e.g., a pain in the neck from muscle strain).
Both forms likely emerged in spoken English in the early to mid-20th century.

Alternatives

Slang/Informal:

A headache (Very common metaphor for an annoyance)
A drag (Something tedious or annoying)
A nightmare (A very difficult or unpleasant situation/person)
A ballache (UK/Aus, vulgar, similar intensity to pain in the ass)
A hassle (Common, emphasizes the trouble/difficulty involved)

Vulgar/Emphatic:

A fucking nightmare
A shitshow (Describes a chaotic/bad situation, sometimes caused by someone)
A real bastard (Describing a difficult *thing* or *situation*, e.g., This job is a real bastard)

Milder:

Annoying
Bothersome
Irritating
Troublesome
A nuisance
A bother
Trying / Testing (Describes something that tests one's patience)

Situational Appropriateness

Pain in the ass is informal and vulgar. Avoid in professional, formal, or polite company.
Pain in the neck is informal but much milder and generally acceptable in most casual conversations, though still avoid in highly formal settings.

Misunderstanding Warnings

Non-native speakers might initially take neck somewhat literally, though the context usually clarifies it's about annoyance.
The level of vulgarity of ass should not be underestimated in inappropriate settings.

Examples

My neighbor's constantly barking dog is a real pain in the ass.
Filling out these complicated tax forms is a pain in the neck.
He complains about everything; he can be such a pain in the neck.

Dialogue

Layla: Ugh, I have to call the phone company again. They overcharged me.

Ben: Oh man, calling them is always such a pain in the neck. Good luck.

Layla: Tell me about it. Last time I was on hold for an hour. It's a total pain in the ass.

Response Patterns

Agreement: Tell me about it!, I know, right?, You're not wrong there.
Sympathy: Oh no, that sounds awful., I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
Sharing related experiences: Yeah, I had a similar issue with...

Common Follow-up Questions/Actions

After someone calls a person/thing a pain in the ass/neck:

Ask for details: Oh yeah? What happened?, What's so bad about it?, What did they do this time?
Offer solutions or sympathy: Is there anything you can do?, That must be really frustrating.
Action: The speaker might sigh, roll their eyes, or express a desire to avoid the person/task.

Conversation Starter

No. Usually used mid-conversation to express frustration or describe something/someone negatively.

Intonation

Stress typically falls strongly on Pain and ass or neck.
Often spoken with a tone of exasperation or frustration.
PAIN in the ASS! or PAIN in the NECK!

Generation Differences

Both expressions are widely understood. The ass version might be used more freely by younger and middle-aged adults, while some older individuals might prefer the neck version or avoid both.

Regional Variations

Common in most English-speaking regions (US, UK, Canada, Australia, etc.).
Pain in the backside is a common British alternative, similar in politeness to pain in the neck.
Pain in the arse is the UK spelling/pronunciation equivalent of pain in the ass.

Tons of..

🎲 A piece of work

[0301] Pain in the ass/neck