Explanation

  • Describes a person who seems unemotional, aloof, unfriendly, and lacking in warmth or empathy.
  • They often appear detached or unresponsive in social situations.

Origin

  • The metaphor compares the person to a fish, which is literally cold-blooded and often perceived culturally as lacking emotion or expression.
  • The term has been used to describe unemotional people since at least the early 20th century, possibly earlier.

Alternatives

Slang/Informal:

  • Standoffish (Common, implies deliberately keeping distance)
  • Buttoned-up / Buttoned-down (Implies overly formal, stiff, and reserved)
  • Ice queen / Ice man/king (More intense, implies deliberate coldness, perhaps haughtiness)
  • Poker face (Specifically refers to showing no emotion facially, not necessarily overall personality)

Vulgar/Emphatic:

  • Emotionless bastard/bitch (Harsh, vulgar insult)
  • Stone-cold (Emphasizes lack of emotion)

Milder/More Formal:

  • Reserved
  • Aloof
  • Detached
  • Unemotional
  • Unresponsive
  • Formal
  • Distant
  • Difficult to get to know
  • Lacking warmth

Situational Appropriateness

  • Informal to semi-formal. It's a negative judgment of someone's personality and lack of warmth.
  • Avoid using it where politeness and diplomacy are crucial, or directly to the person.

Misunderstanding Warnings

  • The negative connotation is usually clear. It implies a lack of warmth and emotional connection, not just being quiet or introverted (though the behaviors can overlap).

Examples

  • I tried making jokes, but he just stared back blankly. He's a bit of a cold fish.
  • She never seems happy or sad, just maintains the same neutral expression – a real cold fish.
  • It's hard to get to know him; he comes across as a cold fish.

Dialogue

Ben: How was the meeting with the new client?

Chloe: It was okay, very professional. But the main contact, Mr. Harrison... seemed like a bit of a cold fish.

Ben: Oh? How so?

Chloe: Just very formal, no small talk, barely cracked a smile. All business.

Social Media Examples

  • Forum post: My boss is kind of a cold fish. It's hard to know if I'm doing a good job because they show zero emotion. Any advice?
  • Comment: Tried chatting with my neighbor, total cold fish. Oh well.
  • Tweet: Is it just me, or does that celebrity always seem like a cold fish in interviews?

Response Patterns

  • Agreement: Yeah, I've noticed that too., He's hard to read., She keeps people at arm's length.
  • Sharing similar experiences: I found her quite distant as well.
  • Speculation (sometimes): Maybe they're just shy?, I wonder why they're like that.
  • Mild disagreement: Really? I found him okay, just quiet.

Common Follow-up Questions/Actions

After calling someone a cold fish:

  • People might discuss specific instances of the person's lack of emotional display or warmth.
  • Listeners might ask for clarification: What makes you say that?
  • People may decide to keep their distance or limit interaction due to the perceived unfriendliness.

Conversation Starter

  • No. It's a description of someone's personality, usually based on observation.

Intonation

  • Often said with a neutral, slightly critical, disappointed, or perplexed tone.
  • Stress usually falls on cold and fish.
  • a COLD FISH.

Generation Differences

  • Understood across generations, perhaps slightly more common in the vocabulary of older generations but still widely recognized.

Regional Variations

  • Common in most English-speaking regions (US, UK, Aus, etc.).
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