- A major, obvious problem or controversial issue that everyone is aware of but consciously avoids discussing or acknowledging because it is uncomfortable, awkward, or taboo.
Explanation
Origin
- The metaphor is based on the absurdity of ignoring something as large and obvious as an elephant physically present in a room.
- Often traced back to Russian writer Ivan Krylov's 1814 fable The Inquisitive Man, where a man visits a museum, notes tiny details, but fails to notice an elephant.
- Popularized in English in the mid-20th century, possibly via the phrase elephant in the drawing room. It highlights willful ignorance of a blatant issue.
Synonyms & Related Expressions
Alternatives
Slang/Informal:
- The big awkward thing
- What everyone's thinking but nobody's saying
- The big stinker (implies unpleasant issue)
- The giant turd in the punchbowl (very vulgar, emphasizes extreme unpleasantness/awkwardness)
Milder/Standard:
- The obvious issue we're not discussing
- The unspoken problem
- The difficult subject
- The matter at hand (can be used neutrally, but sometimes points to the 'elephant')
Situational Appropriateness
- Used in both informal and formal settings.
- Very effective for calling attention to an avoided topic and forcing a discussion.
- Can make people uncomfortable, which is often the intention.
Misunderstanding Warnings
- Purely idiomatic. Non-native speakers must understand it refers to an *ignored obvious issue*, not a literal animal.
Examples
- His recent firing was the elephant in the room at the party; everyone knew, but no one mentioned it.
- We need to address the elephant in the room: the massive budget deficit.
- During the family reunion, Uncle Joe's gambling problem was the elephant in the room.
Dialogue
Meeting Facilitator: Okay team, let's brainstorm ideas for the new marketing campaign.
Team Member: Before we start, can we address the elephant in the room? The fact that our main competitor just launched a nearly identical product?
Facilitator: ...Yes. Good point. That definitely changes the landscape. Let's discuss how we respond to that first.
Social Media Examples
- Tweet: Good discussion on climate change policy, but the elephant in the room is still the lack of political will to implement changes. #climateaction #politics
- Blog Post Title: Mental Health in the Workplace: Addressing the Elephant in the Room.
- Facebook Group Post: Can we talk about the elephant in the room in this community? The constant arguments over rule interpretations?
Response Patterns
- You're right, we need to talk about it.
- Okay, let's address it then.
- I was wondering when someone would bring that up.
- Nods of agreement, sighs, or expressions of relief that the topic is finally broached.
- Sometimes, continued avoidance or deflection if people aren't ready.
Common Follow-up Questions/Actions
After someone points out the elephant in the room:
- So, what are we going to do about [the issue]?
- Okay, let's discuss [the issue] openly.
- Why has everyone been avoiding this topic?
- Action: The group begins discussing the previously avoided subject.
- Action: Someone might try to steer the conversation away again.
Conversation Starter
- Yes, sometimes.
- It's often used as a way to *transition* into discussing the difficult topic, e.g., Okay, moving on... let's address the elephant in the room. It signals a shift to the uncomfortable subject.
Intonation
- Stress on ELEPHANT and ROOM. The ELEPHANT in the ROOM.
- Often said with a knowing, slightly weary, or direct tone, frequently just before addressing the issue itself.
Generation Differences
- Widely understood and used by all generations. Its metaphorical power is quite clear.
Regional Variations
- Common across all major English-speaking regions.