- To make a conscious effort to stop yourself from saying something you really want to say, often to avoid causing offense, conflict, or revealing something inappropriate.
Explanation
Origin
- Based on the literal action. Physically biting down on your tongue prevents speech and can be an instinctive reaction when holding back words.
- The idiom dates back to at least the 16th century (e.g., used by Shakespeare).
Synonyms & Related Expressions
Alternatives
Slang/Informal:
- Keep mum (Stay silent, especially about a secret)
- Zip your lip / Zip it (Often a command)
- Put a sock in it (Rude command to be quiet)
- Swallow your words (Hold back from saying something)
Vulgar/Emphatic:
- Shut the fuck up / STFU (Usually directed aggressively at someone else, but one might think I need to STFU to oneself as a form of self-censorship).
More Formal:
- Exercise restraint / discretion
- Refrain from commenting
- Maintain silence
- Practice diplomacy
Situational Appropriateness
- Informal to neutral.
- Applicable in most social and professional contexts where verbal restraint is necessary or advisable.
Misunderstanding Warnings
- Ensure learners understand it means choosing silence deliberately, not the literal, painful act of biting. The focus is on verbal restraint.
Examples
- I strongly disagreed with his opinion, but I bit my tongue to keep the peace.
- She had to bite her tongue when her mother-in-law criticized her cooking.
- Sometimes, especially at work, it's better to just bite your tongue.
Dialogue
Mark: That meeting was frustrating. My manager's plan makes no sense.
Lisa: Did you challenge it?
Mark: I wanted to, badly. But I just bit my tongue. Arguing wouldn't have changed his mind.
Lisa: Yeah, probably smart. He doesn't handle disagreement well.
Social Media Examples
- Tweet: Reading through these comments... exercising maximum effort to bite my tongue. #SocialMedia #BeKind
- Facebook Status: Had to seriously bite my tongue during that family Zoom call when politics came up. Deep breaths!
- Forum Advice: Re: Difficult Colleague. Sometimes the best strategy is to bite your tongue and document everything.
Response Patterns
- (If someone says they did): Probably a good idea. / Wise decision. / That must have been difficult! / Oh really? What did you want to say?
- (If advising someone): Yeah, maybe just bite your tongue for now.
Common Follow-up Questions/Actions
After someone says they bit their tongue:
- Often prompts curiosity: What were you going to say? (if appropriate to ask).
- Discussion about why they chose silence (e.g., consequences of speaking).
Sharing of similar experiences where silence was chosen.
Conversation Starter
- No. Usually describes a reaction or advises restraint within a specific context.
Intonation
- Stress usually on BITE and TONGUE.
- I had to BITE my TONGUE.
Generation Differences
- Commonly understood and used by all generations.
Regional Variations
- Widely used across all major English-speaking regions.
- Hold your tongue is an equally common alternative.