- Refers to someone or something that is extremely annoying, troublesome, irritating, or difficult to deal with.
- Pain in the ass (or arse in UK/Aus/NZ) is the more vulgar, emphatic version.
Explanation
Origin
- Derived from the literal discomfort of a physical pain in the neck (stiffness, ache) or buttocks.
- Metaphorically applied to sources of persistent irritation or bother.
- Pain in the neck (early 20th century) likely emerged as a euphemism for the older, cruder pain in the ass/arse.
Synonyms & Related Expressions
Alternatives
Slang/Informal:
- A hassle
- A drag
- A headache
- A nightmare (Emphasizes difficulty and stress)
- A pest (Usually refers to an annoying person)
Vulgar/Emphatic:
- A fucking nightmare / A right fucking hassle
- A shitshow (Describes a chaotic, badly managed situation)
- A ball-ache (UK/Aus, vulgar, similar to pain in the ass)
- For people: Asshole, Dickhead, Prick, Twat, Wanker (All vulgar insults for annoying/unpleasant people, usage varies regionally)
Milder/More Formal:
- Troublesome
- Irritating
- Bothersome
- Trying / Testing (Understated, implies patience is needed)
- An inconvenience
Situational Appropriateness
- Pain in the neck: Informal to neutral. Generally acceptable in most casual conversations and many informal workplace settings, though perhaps avoid referring to superiors this way.
- Pain in the ass/arse: Vulgar/Informal. Avoid in formal situations, polite company, professional emails, or when speaking to authority figures. Best reserved for close friends or situations where swearing is acceptable.
Misunderstanding Warnings
- Ensure learners understand the metaphorical meaning of annoyance and the difference in intensity/vulgarity between 'neck' and 'ass/arse'.
Examples
- This bureaucratic paperwork is a real pain in the neck.
- My neighbor's constantly barking dog is a pain in the neck.
- (Informal) Dealing with that client is such a pain in the ass.
- (Informal) He can be a real pain in the ass when he's in a bad mood.
Dialogue
Employee A: I've spent the last hour on hold trying to sort out this invoice issue.
Employee B: Ugh, calling that company is always a pain in the neck. Their system is terrible.
Employee A: Seriously! It's such a waste of time.
Friend 1: My brother keeps borrowing my stuff without asking.
Friend 2: Yeah, that sounds like a pain in the ass. You need to talk to him.
Social Media Examples
- Tweet: Trying to assemble IKEA furniture alone is a special kind of pain in the neck. #DIYfail #frustrated
- Reddit Comment: My landlord is being a real pain in the ass about fixing the heating. What are my rights? #tenantproblems #landlord (Context: informal forum)
- Meme: (Image of something universally annoying, like tangled headphones) Caption: Definition of a pain in the neck.
Response Patterns
- (Agreement): Tell me about it! / I know exactly what you mean. / You can say that again.
- (Inquiry): Oh yeah? Why? / What's so annoying about it/him/her?
- (Mild rebuke for vulgarity): Language! (If 'ass/arse' is used inappropriately)
Common Follow-up Questions/Actions
- Sharing specific examples or stories illustrating the annoyance.
- Commiserating or complaining together about the source of irritation.
- Discussing ways to avoid or deal with the annoying person or situation.
Conversation Starter
- No. Used to describe or complain about something/someone already part of the context.
Intonation
- Stress falls on PAIN and NECK or ASS/ARSE.
- That task is such a PAIN in the NECK.
- He's a total PAIN in the ASS.
Generation Differences
- Both expressions are well-understood across generations.
- Use of pain in the ass/arse might be more common or casual among younger generations, but it remains vulgar.
Regional Variations
- Pain in the neck is universal.
- Pain in the ass is standard in North American English.
- Pain in the arse is standard in British, Irish, Australian, and New Zealand English.