- To intentionally ignore someone or treat them in an unfriendly way.
- To be deliberately aloof or unwelcoming.
Explanation
Origin
- The origin is debated.
- One popular, though likely apocryphal, story suggests that in medieval England, unwelcome guests were served a cold piece of meat (like a shoulder of mutton) instead of a warm meal, signaling their visit was over or they weren't highly valued.
- Another theory, possibly more plausible, links it to Sir Walter Scott's 1816 novel *The Antiquary*, where a character dismisses an unwelcome advance by saying, Ye may mind that the Countess’s dislike didna gang farther at first than just showing o’ the cauld shouther (showing of the cold shoulder). This usage helped popularize it.
- The physical act of turning one's shoulder towards someone can also be a sign of dismissal or avoidance.
Synonyms & Related Expressions
Alternatives
Slang/Informal:
- Ghosting someone (Specifically refers to cutting off all communication, especially online or in dating)
- Airing someone (UK slang ignoring someone)
- Giving someone the silent treatment (Refusing to speak to someone)
Milder:
- Being distant
- Seeming unfriendly
- Keeping their distance
More Direct (Describing the feeling, not the action):
- They're clearly upset with me.
- There's some tension between us.
Situational Appropriateness
- Neutral term used to describe behaviour. Can be used in both informal and semi-formal contexts when describing social interactions.
- The act of *giving* the cold shoulder is generally seen as passive-aggressive and immature, especially in professional environments where direct communication is preferred.
Misunderstanding Warnings
- Learners might not grasp the intentionality; it's not just accidental unfriendliness, but a deliberate act of ignoring or being unwelcoming.
- Ensure they understand it implies a negative social signal.
Examples
- After their argument, she gave him the cold shoulder for the rest of the evening.
- I don't know why, but my colleague has been giving me the cold shoulder all week.
- He felt unwelcome; everyone at the party seemed to give him the cold shoulder.
Dialogue
Liam: Hey, have you noticed Sarah seems angry with me?
Chloe: What makes you say that?
Liam: She barely looked at me when I said hello and completely ignored my question in the meeting. She's definitely giving me the cold shoulder.
Chloe: Hmm, that's strange. Did you two have a disagreement recently?
Liam: Not that I know of! I have no idea what's going on.
Social Media Examples
- Post: Feeling like I'm getting the cold shoulder from a friend lately and not sure why. Hurts a bit. #friendship #awkward #communicationiskey
- Tweet: Is it just me or did that celebrity totally give the interviewer the cold shoulder? Yikes. #interview #celebrity
- Relationship Advice Forum: My partner gives me the cold shoulder whenever we argue instead of talking things through. How do I deal with this?
Response Patterns
- (If observing): Really? Why do you think? / That's awkward. / Maybe you should talk to them.
- (If receiving the cold shoulder): Often leads to confusion, hurt, or attempts to understand why.
- (If giving the cold shoulder): This is an action, not usually something said aloud *while* doing it.
Common Follow-up Questions/Actions
If someone says they are *getting* the cold shoulder:
- Ask: Any idea why? / Did something happen between you two?
- Suggest: Maybe try talking to them directly?
If someone says they are *giving* the cold shoulder:
- Ask: Why are you ignoring them? / What did they do?
- Might question the approach: Don't you think it would be better to talk about it?
Conversation Starter
- No.
- It describes an existing behaviour or social dynamic, usually in a negative context.
Intonation
- Usually spoken in a neutral, descriptive tone when explaining the situation.
- Stress might fall on cold shoulder.
- She's been giving him the COLD SHOULDER.
Generation Differences
- Widely understood across all generations.
Regional Variations
- Common in all major English-speaking regions.