Water under the bridge

[0505] Give someone the cold shoulder

🎲 Rub someone the wrong way
English Idioms
All Idioms

Explanation

  • To intentionally ignore someone or treat them in an unfriendly, aloof, or unwelcoming manner.
  • It signifies deliberate social rejection or disapproval.

Origin

  • The exact origin is debated, but it's often attributed to Sir Walter Scott's novel *The Antiquary* (1816).
  • One theory suggests it refers to giving an unwelcome guest a 'cold shoulder of mutton' (a cheap, undesirable cut of meat served cold) instead of a warm meal, subtly indicating they should leave or are not valued.
  • Another theory suggests it simply refers to turning a physical shoulder towards someone, a cold and dismissive gesture, ignoring them.

Synonyms & Related Expressions

  • Ignore someone
  • Snub someone
  • Freeze someone out
  • Blank someone (UK/Aus slang)
  • Shut someone out
  • Give someone the silent treatment
  • Be aloof towards someone

Alternatives

Slang/Informal:

  • Blank someone (UK/Aus deliberately ignore someone you know)
  • Ghost someone (esp. ending contact suddenly in dating/digital context)
  • Ice someone out / Freeze someone out (deliberately exclude or be unfriendly)
  • Diss someone (show disrespect, which can include ignoring)
  • Curve someone (reject or ignore advances or attempts to connect)
  • Air someone (UK slang ignore someone)

Vulgar/Emphatic:

  • Act like I'm fucking invisible.
  • Totally fucking blanked me. / She fucking aired me. (UK)

Milder/Standard:

  • Ignore
  • Snub
  • Be unfriendly towards
  • Avoid
  • Give the silent treatment

Situational Appropriateness

  • Informal to semi-formal.
  • Describes negative social interaction. Usually used to complain about or question someone's behavior.

Misunderstanding Warnings

  • Non-native speakers might be confused by the literal body part reference. Explain it means intentional ignoring or unfriendliness, not a literal cold body part.

Examples

  • After our argument, she gave me the cold shoulder for a week.
  • I tried to say hello, but he just walked past and gave me the cold shoulder.
  • Why are you giving me the cold shoulder? Did I do something wrong?

Dialogue

Mark: I don't understand why Sarah is acting so distant.

Lisa: Yeah, I noticed at the party. She definitely gave you the cold shoulder when you tried talking to her.

Mark: I have no idea why! I thought everything was fine between us. I should probably ask her what's up.

Social Media Examples

  • Tweet: Tried waving at someone I knew, and they full-on gave me the cold shoulder. Awkward turtle. 🐢 #awkward #socialfail
  • Relationship Forum Post: My partner gives me the cold shoulder after every argument instead of talking. How do I handle this?
  • Meme: Picture of a cat turning its back with text Giving humans the cold shoulder since forever.

Response Patterns

  • If receiving it: Confusion/Hurt (Why are you ignoring me?, What did I do?).
  • If observing it: Observation (Wow, he's really giving her the cold shoulder), Curiosity (I wonder why they're not talking?).
  • If accused of it: Denial (I'm not! I just didn't see you) or Admission (Well, I'm angry with you).

Common Follow-up Questions/Actions

  • The person receiving the cold shoulder might try to ascertain the reason (Can we talk about this?).
  • Observers might speculate on the cause of the rift.
  • The person giving the cold shoulder might eventually explain their reasons or continue the avoidance.

Conversation Starter

  • No.
  • Describes unfriendly social behavior.

Intonation

  • Emphasis on cold shoulder.
  • She totally gave me the COLD SHOULDER.

Generation Differences

  • Widely understood and used across generations.

Regional Variations

  • Common in all major English-speaking regions.
Water under the bridge
🎲 Rub someone the wrong way