- A vague statement used to describe a relationship (romantic or otherwise) or situation that is difficult to define, unstable, problematic, or involves complex emotions and circumstances.
- It's often used to avoid giving a detailed explanation.
Explanation
Origin
- The phrase itself is simple English, but its specific use as a relationship status was popularized by Facebook, which offered It's Complicated as an option for users' relationship status fields in the mid-2000s.
- This captured the ambiguity of many modern relationships (on-again/off-again, undefined situations, difficult dynamics) and entered general language as a common, slightly evasive, descriptor.
Synonyms & Related Expressions
Alternatives
Slang/Informal:
- Shit's weird between us.
- It's a whole thing.
- We're in limbo.
- Got drama going on.
Milder/More Formal (less common for relationships, maybe situations):
- The situation is complex.
- There are many factors involved.
- It's not straightforward.
Situational Appropriateness
- Informal to semi-formal. Can be used in personal conversations and is generally understood.
- Useful for setting boundaries when you don't want to overshare personal details, even in slightly more formal social contexts (e.g., a colleague asking about your weekend).
Misunderstanding Warnings
- The main point learners need to grasp is that it's intentionally vague and often signals that the speaker doesn't want to elaborate further. It's less about the *specific* complication and more about the *existence* of unspecified difficulty or ambiguity.
Examples
- Are you two dating? / Well... it's complicated.
- How's your relationship with your brother? / It's complicated.
- Her relationship status on Facebook just changed to 'It's complicated'.
Dialogue
Alex: Hey, I saw you with Mark again the other day. Are you guys back together?
Jamie: Uh... it's complicated. We're talking, trying to figure things out.
Alex: Ah, okay. Well, I hope it works out for you, whatever you decide.
Jamie: Thanks, me too.
Social Media Examples
- Facebook Status Update: [User]'s relationship status changed to: It's complicated.
- Tweet: Trying to explain my family dynamics to my therapist. Ended up just saying 'Basically... it's complicated'. #therapy #family
- Instagram Bio Snippet: Life goal: Get my love life status updated from 'It's complicated' to 'Happily settled'. 😂
Response Patterns
- Acceptance/No Prying: Ah, okay. / Gotcha. / Say no more.
- Gentle Probing (if close friend): Oh? How so? / Want to talk about it? (respect if they decline)
- Sympathy/Understanding: Yeah, relationships can be like that. / Sounds tough.
Common Follow-up Questions/Actions
After someone says It's complicated:
- Often, the best response is to acknowledge it without pushing for details, unless you are very close and they seem open to talking (Okay, well, I'm here if you want to vent.).
- If you *are* close, you might gently ask, Anything I can do? or simply Rough patch?
- Avoid demanding specifics, as the phrase signals a desire for privacy or an inability/unwillingness to explain easily.
Conversation Starter
- No. It's almost always a response to a question about a relationship or situation.
Intonation
- Usually said with a sigh, hesitation, or a slightly weary or wry tone. Emphasis on complicated. Well... it's COMplicated.
Generation Differences
- Widely used, especially familiar to generations who used Facebook when the status option was popular (Millennials, Gen X), but understood by Gen Z as well.
Regional Variations
- Common across English-speaking regions, largely due to the influence of social media.