Emotional baggage

[0529] Deal-breaker

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English Idioms
All Idioms

Explanation

  • A factor, condition, or issue that is non-negotiable and significant enough to cause someone to reject a potential agreement, relationship, proposal, or other arrangement.

Origin

  • Originated in business negotiations, referring to a point that would break the deal if not met.
  • Its usage expanded into personal relationships and other contexts, likely in the late 20th century, to signify an absolute stopping point or unacceptable element.

Synonyms & Related Expressions

  • Non-negotiable
  • Bottom line (especially in business)
  • Red line
  • Showstopper (can mean a major problem preventing progress)
  • Kiss of death (implies guaranteed failure)

Alternatives

Slang/Informal:

  • Hard no
  • That's a no from me, dog (Pop culture reference Randy Jackson.)
  • Game over (Implies the end of possibility.)
  • Full stop / Period (Used after stating the condition for emphasis, e.g., Lying is unacceptable. Period.)

Business Jargon:

  • Sticking point
  • Must-have / Must-not-have requirement

Situational Appropriateness

  • Widely applicable, from informal relationship talks to formal business negotiations.
  • Tone adjusts to context (casual vs. serious).

Misunderstanding Warnings

  • Generally well-understood. Clarity lies in recognizing it signifies an absolute refusal point, not just a preference.

Examples

  • Wanting different things regarding children can be a major deal-breaker in a marriage.
  • For me, a partner who smokes is a deal-breaker.
  • The refusal to offer remote work options was a deal-breaker for the candidate.

Dialogue

Alex: I really like this apartment, but they don't allow pets.

Ben: Oh, isn't that a deal-breaker for you? You've been planning to get a dog.

Alex: Yeah, it absolutely is. I'll have to keep looking.

Social Media Examples

  • Dating App Bio: Deal-breakers: Bad communication, negativity, MAGA hats.
  • Tweet Poll: Biggest first date deal-breaker? A) Rude to waiter B) Talks about ex C) On phone constantly D) Other (comment!) #dating
  • LinkedIn Post: For top talent, lack of flexibility isn't just a drawback, it's often a deal-breaker. #futureofwork #recruitment

Response Patterns

  • Acknowledgment/Understanding: Okay, I understand. Good to know.
  • Surprise/Inquiry: Really? Why is that such a deal-breaker for you?
  • Agreement: Yeah, that would be a deal-breaker for me too.
  • Negotiation Attempt (in business): Is that a hard deal-breaker, or is there any room for discussion?

Common Follow-up Questions/Actions

  • Often prompts discussion about the reason behind the deal-breaker (Why do you feel so strongly about that?).
  • In negotiations, clarifies if the point is truly fixed.
  • In relationships, it establishes clear boundaries (Okay, I respect that.).

Conversation Starter

  • Yes. Can initiate discussions about preferences or boundaries: What are your relationship deal-breakers? or Let's identify any potential deal-breakers early on.

Intonation

  • Usually stated firmly and definitively. Emphasis on deal and breaker. That's a DEAL-breaker for me.

Generation Differences

  • Understood and used across generations, particularly common in relationship discussions among Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z.

Regional Variations

  • Common in all major English-speaking regions.
Emotional baggage
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