- A vulgar expression of defiance, contempt, or dismissal.
- It means I refuse to do what you want, I don't care what you think, or is used as a general insult implying the target should perform a demeaning act.
Explanation
Origin
- The phrase, in various forms (e.g., Kiss my arse), is quite old, appearing in literature centuries ago (e.g., Chaucer, Shakespearean era plays often had similar crude commands).
- It functions as a symbolic act of submission being demanded ironically or rejected forcefully. The speaker is essentially saying You want me to submit? Instead, *you* submit to *me* in the most demeaning way.
- Popularized in modern vernacular, especially in American English.
Synonyms & Related Expressions
Alternatives
Slang/Informal:
- Bite me: Common, implies defiance, less harsh than KMA.
- Get bent: Less common, means get lost/be annoyed.
- Talk to the hand (Dated 90s slang): Dismissive gesture/phrase.
Vulgar/Emphatic:
- Kiss my fucking ass.
- Shove it up your ass / Stick it up your ass: Similar defiant refusal, often regarding an object or task.
- Up yours: General defiant insult, often accompanied by a rude gesture.
- Eat shit and die (See 0627, very extreme).
Milder:
- No way.
- Forget it.
- I refuse.
- Get lost.
- Leave me alone.
- As if!
Situational Appropriateness
- Highly informal and vulgar.
- Expresses strong defiance and disrespect. Use carries significant social risk.
- Never use in professional, formal, or polite situations.
- Reserved for moments of extreme anger or defiance, usually in personal conflicts.
Misunderstanding Warnings
- It is never literal. It's purely an expression of defiance or contempt.
- The level of hostility is very high. Learners should understand this is not a casual phrase.
Examples
- Boss: You need to work this weekend. Employee: (Muttering) Kiss my ass.
- Person A: You should apologize to him. Person B: Apologize? He can kiss my ass!
- (As a general dismissal) You think I'm going to fail? Kiss my ass.
Dialogue
Person A: Everyone thinks you cheated on the test.
Person B: They can all kiss my ass. I didn't cheat.
Supervisor: I need you to redo this entire report by tomorrow.
Employee: (Thinking) *Kiss my ass.* (Aloud) Tomorrow? That's impossible.
Social Media Examples
- (Rarely used publicly due to its confrontational nature, might appear in angry DMs or private messages).
- Meme: Picture of a defiant character with the caption Kiss my ass.
- Quote tweet responding negatively to a demand/criticism: Kiss my ass. (Highly aggressive).
Response Patterns
- Shock or anger (What did you say?!).
- Escalation of the conflict (Oh yeah? Fuck you!).
- Ignoring the comment (especially if muttered).
- Sometimes, amusement, if the situation or delivery is unexpected.
- Taking it as a refusal and potentially imposing consequences (e.g., a boss firing the employee).
Common Follow-up Questions/Actions
- Confrontation (Are you refusing to do your job?).
- Ending the interaction (Fine! Get out!).
- The speaker might stand their ground or walk away defiantly.
Conversation Starter
- No. It's a highly confrontational statement or retort.
Intonation
- Delivered with anger, defiance, or contempt.
- Strong stress on KISS and ASS. KISS my ASS.
- Can be spoken loudly and confrontationally, or muttered resentfully.
Generation Differences
- Widely understood across generations. The raw defiance is timeless, even if the exact phrasing might feel slightly more classic insult than cutting-edge slang.
Regional Variations
- Kiss my ass is very common in North America.
- Kiss my arse is the equivalent and very common in UK/Aus/NZ English.