0712 Not in a million years

Explanation

These expressions are used to say that something is absolutely impossible or will never happen.
When pigs fly is more whimsical and implies absurdity.

Origin

Not in a million years uses hyperbole (a million years) to emphasize impossibility over time.
When pigs fly dates back to at least the 1600s, using the obviously impossible image of pigs flying to signify never. Similar expressions exist in other languages (e.g., when hens have teeth).

Alternatives

Slang/Informal:

Zero chance.
Ain't gonna happen.
Forget it.

Vulgar/Emphatic:

Not a fucking chance.
No way in hell.
When hell freezes over.

Milder:

Highly unlikely.
I doubt it very much.
That seems improbable. (Formal)

Situational Appropriateness

Informal.
When pigs fly is more whimsical/sarcastic. Not in a million years is more direct.
Generally acceptable in most casual conversations, but avoid in formal predictions or reports.

Misunderstanding Warnings

Generally understood as figurative language meaning never.
A very literal-minded learner might need clarification that pigs don't actually fly.

Examples

A: Do you think he'll ever apologize? B: Not in a million years.
A: Maybe I'll win the lottery this week! B: Yeah, when pigs fly.
A: Will you ever sell your vintage comic book collection? B: Not in a million years.

Dialogue

Context

# Using Not in a million years

Kim: Do you think you'll ever move back to our hometown?

Leo: Not in a million years. I love living in the city too much.

Kim: Fair enough.

# Using When pigs fly

Sam: Maybe the boss will give us all a huge bonus this year!

Tina: Ha! When pigs fly. We'll be lucky to get a cost-of-living raise.

Sam: A girl can dream, right?

Response Patterns

Often met with resigned agreement: Yeah, I suppose you're right.
Sometimes playful disagreement: Hey, you never know!
The original speaker might press: Really? You think it's that impossible?

Common Follow-up Questions/Actions

After hearing this:

Someone might ask Why are you so sure? or express their own (perhaps less pessimistic) view.
The conversation might move on, accepting the stated impossibility.

Conversation Starter

No.
Response to a question about likelihood or a hopeful statement.

Intonation

Not in a million years: Often said with finality, stress on million and years. Not in a MILLION YEARS.
When pigs fly: Often said with a sarcastic or amused tone, stress on pigs and fly. Yeah, when PIGS FLY.

Generation Differences

Both are well-understood across generations.
When pigs fly might feel slightly more traditional or quaint to some younger speakers, but is still commonly used and understood.

Regional Variations

Both are common in most English-speaking regions.

Over my dead body

🎲 Not a chance

[0712] Not in a million years