Can refer to two main things:
- 1. Repeatedly changing one's mind, opinion, or decision; wavering indecisively between options.
- 2. A discussion, negotiation, or argument involving a series of exchanges between people with differing views.
Explanation
Origin
- Derived from the literal physical movement in one direction (back) and then the opposite (forth), like a pendulum swinging or people passing something between them.
- This physical sense of alternating movement was metaphorically applied to both indecisive wavering (swinging between choices) and dialogues (exchanging points) starting around the 17th century.
Synonyms & Related Expressions
Alternatives
Slang/Informal (Indecision):
- Flip-flopping.
- Waffling. (UK)
- Being wishy-washy.
Slang/Informal (Discussion):
- Hashing it out.
- Thrashing it out.
- Going round and round. (Often implies lack of progress)
Vulgar/Emphatic (Indecision):
- Stop fucking flip-flopping.
Vulgar/Emphatic (Discussion):
- Arguing like hell.
- Going at it hammer and tongs. (Arguing fiercely)
Milder/Standard (Indecision):
- Wavering.
- Being unable to decide.
- Oscillating between options.
Milder/Standard (Discussion):
- Negotiating.
- Debating the point.
- Exchanging arguments.
Situational Appropriateness
- Appropriate in most contexts, informal to formal.
- The meaning (indecision vs. discussion) should be clear from the context.
Misunderstanding Warnings
- The main potential for confusion is between the two meanings (indecision vs. discussion). Context usually makes it clear which is intended.
Examples
- # Indecision:
- She's been going back and forth all week about whether to accept the job offer.
- Stop going back and forth and just make a decision!
- # Discussion/Negotiation:
- The lawyers went back and forth for hours negotiating the contract details.
- We had a long back and forth about the best way to approach the problem.
Dialogue
Person A: Did you buy the tickets for the concert yet?
Person B: Ugh, no. I keep going back and forth. They're expensive, but I really want to see the band.
Person A: Well, they might sell out soon. You should decide!
Person B: I know, I know! It's driving me crazy.
Person C: How did the meeting with the client go?
Person D: It was long. We went back and forth on the budget for about an hour, but we finally agreed on a number.
Person C: Good, glad you could settle it.
Social Media Examples
- # Indecision:
- Been going back and forth all morning trying to decide what to wear. Send help! #fashionproblems #indecisive
- My brain is going back and forth between 'treat yourself' and 'save money'. The eternal struggle. 😩 #budgeting #selfcare
- # Discussion:
- Engaged in a long back and forth in the comments section about the movie's ending. Interesting points on both sides! #filmdebate #discussion
- Lots of back and forth between the two candidates during the debate last night. #politics #election
Response Patterns
To indecision:
- That sounds frustrating.
- What are the main options?
- You need to make up your mind.
- Maybe take a break from thinking about it?
To discussion:
- So what was the final outcome?
- Did you reach an agreement?
- Sounds like a lengthy debate.
- What were the main points of contention?
Common Follow-up Questions/Actions
Regarding indecision:
- Expressing sympathy or impatience.
- Asking about the choices being considered.
- Suggesting ways to break the deadlock.
Regarding discussion:
- Asking about the resolution or conclusion.
- Inquiring about the key arguments or difficulties.
Conversation Starter
- No. Describes an ongoing process or state.
Intonation
- When describing indecision, often sounds exasperated or weary. Stress on BACK and FORTH. He keeps going BACK and FORTH.
- When describing discussion, usually neutral. Stress still often on BACK and FORTH. There was a lot of BACK and FORTH.
Generation Differences
- Universal expression, used and understood by all age groups.
Regional Variations
- Universal across English-speaking regions.