- Doubts, reconsideration, or feelings of uncertainty about a decision that has already been made or is about to be made. It implies a potential desire to change one's mind or a growing unease with the chosen course of action.
Explanation
Origin
- The phrase is based on the simple, logical idea of having an initial thought or decision, followed by a 'second' (subsequent, potentially conflicting) thought about the same matter.
- This straightforward concept has been expressed this way in English for centuries, signifying reconsideration or dawning doubt.
Synonyms & Related Expressions
Alternatives
Slang/Informal:
- Getting cold feet. (If nervousness before commitment)
- Feeling iffy about it.
- Having doubts.
- Getting wobbly. (UK informal: Becoming uncertain)
Vulgar/Emphatic:
- (Expressing the doubt strongly): Starting to think this was a fucking mistake.
- What the hell was I thinking?
Milder/Standard:
- Reconsidering my decision.
- Having reservations about...
- Feeling uncertain about my choice.
- Experiencing some doubt.
- Questioning my decision.
Situational Appropriateness
- Appropriate in most contexts, informal to formal. Clearly communicates reconsideration or doubt about a decision.
Misunderstanding Warnings
- Generally clear. Emphasize that it's more than just casually changing one's mind; it implies significant doubt or reconsideration, often accompanied by some anxiety.
Examples
- I happily accepted the job offer, but now I'm having second thoughts about the long commute.
- She was excited to buy the expensive dress, but had second thoughts when she saw her credit card bill.
- Are you having second thoughts about getting married?
Dialogue
Friend 1: You seemed so sure about moving to London! Are you all packed?
Friend 2: Mostly... but lately, I've been having second thoughts. Leaving all my friends behind feels harder than I expected.
Friend 1: Aw, I understand. It's a huge step. But think of all the amazing opportunities waiting for you there! It's normal to feel nervous.
Social Media Examples
- Impulsively booked a skydiving trip... now having serious second thoughts! 😱 Anyone done it? Is it worth the terror? #adventure #fear
- Said yes to hosting Thanksgiving for 20 people. Now having second thoughts about my sanity and cooking skills. Send wine! 🍷 #holidaystress #whatwasithinking
- Feeling second thoughts about my major. Is it too late to switch? #college #careerpath #doubt
Response Patterns
- Oh really? Why? What's bothering you?
- What are you doubting specifically?
- Is it too late to change your mind?
- It's normal to feel that way before a big change.
- Maybe you should talk it through?
- Don't ignore those feelings.
Common Follow-up Questions/Actions
After someone expresses 'second thoughts':
- Asking for the specific reasons behind the doubt (What's making you reconsider?).
- Offering reassurance or validating their feelings (It's okay to be unsure.).
- Discussing the possibility and consequences of changing the decision.
- Exploring the concerns in more detail.
- Suggesting they give it more time or 'sleep on it' again.
Conversation Starter
- No. Expresses a personal state of mind regarding a decision.
Intonation
- Often conveys hesitation, worry, uncertainty, or slight regret.
- Stress falls on SECcond THOUGHTS. I'm starting to have SECond THOUGHTS.
Generation Differences
- Universal expression, understood and used by all age groups.
Regional Variations
- Universal across English-speaking regions.