- To possess courage, moral strength, and the firmness to stand up for oneself or one's principles.
- To not be weak, easily intimidated, or swayed by others.
Explanation
Origin
- Uses the human spine (backbone) as a metaphor. The spine provides physical support and structure to the body.
- Figuratively, having a backbone means having inner strength, resilience, and the moral structure to stand firm. Lacking one implies being 'spineless' – weak, cowardly, or easily manipulated.
Synonyms & Related Expressions
Alternatives
Slang/Informal:
- Have balls / Have cojones (Vulgar: have courage, often associated with male bravery but used for anyone)
- Grow a pair (Vulgar command: be brave/stronger)
- Don't be a doormat / pushover (Don't let people treat you badly)
Vulgar/Emphatic:
- Have some fucking guts
Milder:
- Be more assertive/confident
- Show some strength of character/resolve
- Develop inner strength
Situational Appropriateness
- Informal to semi-formal. Telling someone directly Have a backbone can sound harsh, critical, or judgmental, depending heavily on the relationship, tone, and context.
- Describing someone as having or lacking a backbone is common but inherently judgmental. Use with awareness.
Misunderstanding Warnings
- Entirely metaphorical. Refers to courage and strength of character, not the physical spine. 'Spineless' is the direct opposite.
- # PHILOSOPHICAL & LIFE PERSPECTIVES
Examples
- You need to have a backbone and tell them you won't work overtime without pay.
- It takes backbone to admit when you're wrong.
- He finally grew a backbone and stood up to the bullies. (Idiomatically, 'grew a backbone' means developed courage)
Dialogue
Chris: My boss keeps giving me tasks that aren't part of my job description, and I'm overwhelmed.
Jess: You've got to have a backbone, Chris! Schedule a meeting and clearly explain your workload limits.
Chris: I know, I know. It just feels confrontational.
Jess: Sometimes you need to be. Have some backbone and advocate for yourself!
Social Media Examples
- Motivational Post: Remember to have a backbone and stand tall for what you believe in. #InnerStrength #Courage #Motivation
- Tweet: Takes real backbone to walk away from a toxic situation. Proud of anyone who does. #SelfRespect
- Forum Advice: Dealing with difficult clients requires patience and a strong backbone.
Response Patterns
If told to have a backbone:
- Agreement/Resolve: You're right, I will., I know, I need to be stronger.
- Defensiveness: It's not that simple!, Easy for you to say!
If describing someone's backbone (or lack thereof):
- Agreement: Yes, she's very strong., True, he's easily pushed around.
- Disagreement: I think he's just being diplomatic.
Common Follow-up Questions/Actions
After being advised to have a backbone:
- Taking the necessary assertive action.
- Asking for specific advice on *how* to be assertive in the situation.
After discussing someone's lack of backbone:
- Expressing sympathy or frustration.
- Discussing the consequences of their weakness.
Conversation Starter
- No. It's advice given or a description of character within a specific context.
Intonation
- Emphasis usually on have and backbone.
- If giving advice/criticism: You need to HAVE a BACKBONE! (Can sound critical or encouraging)
- If describing someone: She really HAS a BACKBONE. (Admiring tone) / He needs MORE backbone. (Critical tone)
Generation Differences
- Universally understood. While assertiveness norms may vary, the concept of inner strength represented by 'backbone' is common across generations.
Regional Variations
- Common in all major English-speaking regions.