Explanation

  • To make a very significant effort, often going to great lengths, especially to help, please, or accommodate someone.

Origin

  • Evokes the image of a contortionist performing a difficult physical feat (literally bending over backwards).
  • This extreme physical effort symbolizes an equally extreme or difficult level of non-physical effort or accommodation made for someone else.

Alternatives

Slang/Informal:

  • Bust one's ass / Work one's ass off (Vulgar, emphasizes hard work/effort, not necessarily accommodation)
  • Sweat blood (Make an extreme effort)

Vulgar/Emphatic:

  • Kiss ass (Vulgar, negative term for pleasing someone excessively, often insincerely for gain, unlike the generally positive 'bend over backwards')

Milder:

  • Tried really hard
  • Did everything possible
  • Made a special effort

Situational Appropriateness

  • Appropriate in most contexts, informal to semi-formal.
  • Effectively emphasizes a high degree of effort, often made for someone else's benefit.

Misunderstanding Warnings

  • Non-native speakers might imagine the literal physical action. Clarify it refers to making a great *effort*.

Examples

  • The hotel staff bent over backwards to make our anniversary special.
  • I bent over backwards trying to get this report done on time for you.
  • You don't need to bend over backwards; a simple 'yes' or 'no' is fine.

Dialogue

Chris: I finally got those concert tickets you wanted!

Dana: Oh my gosh, really? They were sold out everywhere! How did you manage it?

Chris: I had to call a bunch of people and wait on hold forever. I really bent over backwards to get them.

Dana: Chris, thank you so much! You're the best!

Social Media Examples

  • Post: Huge thanks to @AwesomeAirlines customer service! They bent over backwards to rebook my flight after a cancellation. #travel #customerservice
  • Comment: Don't bend over backwards for people who wouldn't do the same for you. #selfrespect

Response Patterns

  • Expression of gratitude: Wow, thank you, you really bent over backwards!
  • Acknowledgement of effort: I appreciate you bending over backwards.
  • Sometimes, implies the effort wasn't fully appreciated or necessary: They bent over backwards, but it still wasn't quite right.

Common Follow-up Questions/Actions

  • Expressing thanks or appreciation is common.
  • Asking if the effort was successful or worth it (Did it work out after you bent over backwards?).
  • The person who made the effort might feel slightly resentful if it wasn't acknowledged.

Conversation Starter

  • No.
  • It describes an action or level of effort, usually not used to initiate a conversation.

Intonation

  • Stress is usually placed on BENT (or bend) and BACKWARDS.
  • Often spoken with emphasis to highlight the degree of effort. She really BENT over BACKWARDS for us.

Generation Differences

  • Widely understood and used across generations.

Regional Variations

  • Common in all major English-speaking regions.
Throw your weight around