Explanation

  • To understand an indirect suggestion (a hint) and, usually, to act accordingly (e.g., stop doing something, leave, understand the unspoken message). Frequently used negatively (can't take a hint) to criticize someone's lack of social awareness.

Origin

  • Take means to receive, accept, or understand.
  • You are understanding the hint that someone else dropped (see #1013).

Alternatives

Slang/Informal:

  • Get the message (very common synonym)
  • Catch on
  • Wise up (implies realization after previous ignorance)
  • Figure it out
  • Get with the program (understand the situation/expectations)

Milder/Standard:

  • Understand the implied meaning
  • Perceive the subtle cues
  • Recognize the hint

Vulgar/Emphatic (Expressing extreme frustration):

  • Why the fuck won't you take the hint?
  • Just piss off already! (The action often desired when someone won't take a hint to leave).

Situational Appropriateness

  • Informal. The phrase Can't you take a hint? is direct and critical, best used when patience is exhausted, or among close peers. Describing someone as unable to take a hint is common informal commentary.

Misunderstanding Warnings

  • Fairly straightforward, but emphasize it relates to understanding *indirectness*. The negative form is a strong criticism of social perceptiveness.

Examples

  • I looked at my watch pointedly, but he couldn't take a hint and kept talking.
  • She asked him to stop calling, and thankfully, he finally took the hint.
  • (Assurance): Okay, okay, I can take a hint. I'll give you some space.
  • (Exasperated): I've said I'm busy three times! Why can't you take a hint?!

Dialogue

Friend 1: I kept trying to end the conversation, saying I had work to do...

Friend 2: Did Alex take the hint?

Friend 1: Not a chance! Talked for another 20 minutes. I eventually had to just hang up. Some people cannot take a hint!

Social Media Examples

  • Vent Tweet: If I leave you on 'read' for days, maybe TAKE A HINT?! #communication #datingwoes
  • Post: My dog keeps bringing me his leash and staring. Okay boy, I can take a hint! Walk time! 🐶 #doglife
  • Comment: Glad she finally took the hint and stopped inviting herself over.

Response Patterns

  • If told Can't you take a hint?: Often embarrassment, apology (Oh! Sorry!), or withdrawal. Sometimes defensiveness (I didn't realize!).
  • Assuring someone: Alright, loud and clear. I take the hint.
  • Commenting on others: Some people just can't take a hint, can they?

Common Follow-up Questions/Actions

  • The person failing to take the hint might eventually realize their obliviousness and feel awkward.
  • The person giving the hint might resort to more direct communication if the hint isn't taken.
  • Observers might gossip about the lack of social grace.

Conversation Starter

  • No. Usually a comment on understanding (or failing to understand) indirect communication, or an exasperated command.

Intonation

  • Statement: Stress on take (or past tense took) and hint. He finally TOOK the HINT.
  • Negative question/command: Strong, often frustrated stress on TAKE and HINT. CAN'T you TAKE a HINT?!

Generation Differences

  • Widely understood across generations.

Regional Variations

  • Common across all major English-speaking regions.
Drop a hint