- To deliberately maintain a distance in a relationship, avoiding becoming too friendly, intimate, or emotionally close with someone.
Explanation
Origin
- Based on the literal physical distance of an arm's length – close enough to interact but not truly close or intimate.
- The phrase extends this physical distance to emotional and social distance.
Synonyms & Related Expressions
Alternatives
Slang/Informal:
- Give someone the cold shoulder. (Act unfriendly towards someone)
- Curve someone. (Reject someone's advances or attempts to get closer, often romantic/social, AAVE origin)
- Ice someone out. (Intentionally exclude or be cold towards someone)
Milder/Standard:
- Maintain boundaries.
- Limit interaction.
- Remain detached.
Situational Appropriateness
- Generally appropriate in informal and semi-formal contexts.
- Describes a behavior that might be seen as unfriendly, so use descriptively rather than boasting about it.
Misunderstanding Warnings
- Ensure learners understand this refers to emotional and social distance, not just physical space, although it originates from that idea.
Examples
- After the argument, she decided to keep him at arm's length.
- It's wise to keep your competitors at arm's length.
- He's friendly, but he keeps his colleagues at arm's length, never sharing much personal information.
Dialogue
Clara: I notice you're polite to David, but not really friendly.
Mark: Yeah, I'm keeping him at arm's length for now. I've heard he can be a bit manipulative, so I'm being cautious.
Clara: Ah, I see. Better safe than sorry, I suppose.
Social Media Examples
- Advice Column Response: ...Given his past behavior, it might be best to keep him at arm's length for your own peace of mind. #relationships #boundaries
- Tweet: Learning to keep certain energy vampires at arm's length. Protecting my peace is paramount. #selfcare #boundaries
Response Patterns
- That's probably wise.
- Why? What happened?
- It can be hard to maintain that boundary.
- Is there a reason for the distance?
- Sometimes you have to protect yourself.
Common Follow-up Questions/Actions
- People might inquire about the reason for maintaining distance.
- The person keeping distance continues to interact formally or minimally, avoiding deeper connection.
- Others might observe this behavior and comment on it.
Conversation Starter
- No. Describes a relationship dynamic or strategy within a conversation.
Intonation
- Usually stated factually or as advice, sometimes with a hint of coolness or caution.
- Stress on KEEP, ARM'S, and LENGTH.
- Example: KEEP someone at ARM'S LENGTH.
Generation Differences
- Widely understood and used across generations.
Regional Variations
- Common in all major English-speaking regions.