- To remain silent; to refrain from speaking, especially when you want to say something critical, angry, or inappropriate.
Explanation
Origin
- Literally refers to physically holding one's tongue to prevent it from moving to form words.
- The phrase has been used in English for centuries, appearing in literature from at least the 16th century.
- It implies a conscious effort to stop oneself from speaking.
Synonyms & Related Expressions
Alternatives
Slang/Informal:
- Shut your trap / Shut your pie hole (Rude command)
- Zip it (Informal command)
- Put a sock in it (Rude command)
- Keep it under your hat (keep a secret, slightly different meaning)
Vulgar/Emphatic (Usually commands):
- Shut the fuck up (Very rude command)
- Can it (Informal, somewhat dated command)
Milder/Standard:
- Please be quiet.
- Let's not discuss this now.
- It might be best not to say anything.
Situational Appropriateness
- The phrase itself is neutral, but using it as a command (Hold your tongue!) is very direct and often authoritarian or rude, depending on the tone and relationship.
- Describing oneself (I held my tongue) is generally acceptable in informal and semi-formal contexts.
- Using the command form is usually inappropriate in professional settings unless dealing with severe insubordination or perhaps addressing a child.
Misunderstanding Warnings
- Very unlikely to be misunderstood, as the metaphorical meaning is well-established.
- The main issue is the potential perceived rudeness when used as a command.
Examples
- I wanted to argue, but I decided to hold my tongue.
- You need to learn to hold your tongue in meetings, even when you disagree.
- (As a command) Hold your tongue, young man! That's disrespectful.
Dialogue
Manager: ...and that's why we're implementing the new policy. Any questions?
Employee A (muttering): This is ridiculous.
Manager: What was that, Johnson?
Employee B (quietly to A): Hold your tongue. Now's not the time.
Employee A: (Remains silent, looking frustrated).
Social Media Examples
- Post: Had to seriously hold my tongue during that family dinner discussion about politics. 🤐 #FamilyDrama #KeepThePeace
- Tweet: Sometimes the smartest thing you can do in an online argument is just hold your tongue (or log off).
- Forum comment: Replying to that troll? Nah, learned my lesson. Better to hold my tongue and not feed them.
Response Patterns
If told Hold your tongue:
- Silence (the intended effect).
- A look of resentment or submission.
- Okay, sorry. (If acknowledging the command)
- Muttering under one's breath (if resentful).
If someone says I had to hold my tongue:
- Probably wise.
- What did you want to say? (If probing)
- Good call, it wouldn't have helped.
- I know, it's hard sometimes.
Common Follow-up Questions/Actions
After being told Hold your tongue:
- The person usually stops speaking immediately.
- The conversation may become tense or end.
- The person who gave the command might continue speaking or explaining why.
After someone says I held my tongue:
- The listener might express empathy (That must have been difficult).
- They might ask for more details about the situation or what the person wanted to say (if appropriate).
Conversation Starter
- No.
- It's either a command to stop talking or a description of refraining from speech.
Intonation
- When used as advice or self-reflection, the phrase is usually spoken evenly. I decided to hold my tongue.
- When used as a command, Hold and tongue are stressed, often with a sharp or warning tone. HOLD your TONGUE!
Generation Differences
- Widely understood across generations.
- The command form might sound slightly old-fashioned or formal to some younger people, but the meaning is clear.
Regional Variations
- Common in all major English-speaking regions.