Explanation

  • An expression of disbelief, astonishment, frustration, or annoyance.
  • Used when something is so surprising, ridiculous, or inconvenient that it seems like a joke.

Origin

  • Combines You have got to be (emphatic you must be) with kidding me (joking with me).
  • Popularized in the 20th century as a common reaction to surprising or frustrating situations. Often shortened to You've gotta be kidding me or just Kidding me?

Alternatives

Slang/Informal:

  • Are you for real? / Fr?
  • Bruh. (Can express disbelief/frustration, common online/Gen Z)
  • Get outta here!
  • No cap? (AAVE/Gen Z, asking 'are you serious/not lying?')

Vulgar/Emphatic:

  • Are you fucking kidding me?!
  • You've got to be shitting me!
  • What the fuck?! / WTF?!
  • For fuck's sake! / FFS!

Milder/Standard:

  • Oh dear.
  • Goodness me.
  • Surely not.
  • I can hardly believe it.
  • That's quite surprising/frustrating.

Situational Appropriateness

  • Informal to semi-formal.
  • Common in everyday conversation.
  • The level of frustration or annoyance conveyed depends heavily on tone. Can sound unprofessional if expressed with strong anger in a formal setting.

Misunderstanding Warnings

  • Non-native speakers might not grasp the intensity of the frustration or disbelief intended.
  • They might occasionally take kidding too literally, thinking the person genuinely believes they are being joked with, rather than using it as an idiom for astonishment/frustration.

Examples

  • (Seeing a huge traffic jam) You've got to be kidding me! We'll be late for sure.
  • (Hearing unbelievable news) He quit his job to become a street performer? / You've got to be kidding me!
  • (Finding out something is broken) The coffee machine is broken again? You've got to be kidding me.

Dialogue

Alex: My flight just got cancelled.

Ben: You've got to be kidding me! What are you going to do?

Alex: I have no idea. I need to call the airline.

Chris: I accidentally deleted the entire presentation file.

Dana: You've got to be kidding me. Please tell me there's a backup.

Social Media Examples

  • Tweet: My internet went out right before the season finale. You've got to be kidding me! #WorstTiming
  • Instagram Story: (Video of unexpected rain during a picnic) Caption: You've got to be kidding me 😩☔
  • Chat: They scheduled another meeting for 5 PM on Friday? -> You've gotta be kidding me.

Response Patterns

  • I wish I were kidding.
  • Nope, seriously.
  • I know, right? (Sharing the exasperation)
  • Silence (if the situation speaks for itself, like the traffic jam).

Common Follow-up Questions/Actions

After someone exclaims You've got to be kidding me!:

  • If reacting to news, they might ask for more details (How did that happen?!).
  • If reacting to an inconvenience, they might express frustration further or try to find a solution (Ugh, now what do we do?).

The person who caused the reaction might confirm the reality (Yeah, it's true.) or explain the situation.

    Conversation Starter

    • No. It's a reaction to a situation or piece of information.

    Intonation

    • Typically exclaimed with a tone of disbelief or exasperation.
    • Often has rising intonation on kidding. You've got to be KIDDING me?!
    • Can be said with annoyance, stress falling on got or kidding.

    Generation Differences

    • Very common across most generations.

    Regional Variations

    • Widely used in all major English-speaking regions.
    I'm not buying it