Explanation

  • A phrasal verb meaning to seem or appear to have particular qualities; the impression one makes on other people.
  • (Note: This entry focuses on the appear as meaning. Come across can also mean to find something or meet someone by chance, e.g., I came across an old friend downtown.)

Origin

  • Phrasal verb construction. Come relates to how something presents itself or arrives in perception. Across suggests bridging the gap between the subject and the observer, conveying an impression.
  • This specific meaning, related to the impression given, developed over time from the verb's other senses.

Alternatives

Slang/Informal:

  • Give off a vibe / Have a vibe (Emit a certain feeling or impression) He gives off a really weird vibe. / She had a cool vibe.
  • Seem like a bit of a... (Followed by a descriptive noun, often negative or judgmental) He seemed like a bit of a know-it-all.
  • Read as (Informal, common online for interpreting text) Your message reads as sarcastic.

Vulgar/Emphatic (usually for strong negative impressions):

  • Come across like a total asshole/jerk/dickhead.
  • Seem like a complete tool. (Slang foolish or obnoxious person)

Milder/Standard:

  • Appeared to be...
  • Seemed...
  • Gave the impression that... / Gave the impression of being...
  • My perception was that... / I perceived him/her as...
  • Struck me as...

Situational Appropriateness

  • Informal to semi-formal.
  • Very common in everyday conversation when discussing people, meetings, interviews, or communications (like emails, texts).
  • Use with awareness that you are stating a subjective perception, not necessarily an objective fact. Phrasing like To me, he came across as... can soften it.

Misunderstanding Warnings

  • The main potential confusion is with the other common meaning: to find or meet by chance. For example, I came across an interesting article vs. The article came across as biased. The context (especially the presence of as + adjective/description) usually makes the intended meaning clear. Non-native speakers should practice distinguishing these two uses.

Examples

  • He means well, but his directness sometimes makes him come across as blunt or even rude.
  • She came across as very confident and knowledgeable during her job interview.
  • I was worried that my silence might come across as disinterest, but I was just thinking.
  • The tone of the email came across as quite aggressive and demanding.

Dialogue

Anna: What did you think of the new client representative we met today?

Ben: He seemed smart enough, but honestly, he came across as a bit arrogant to me. Very dismissive of our initial ideas.

Anna: Hmm, I see what you mean. I thought he came across as maybe just very direct and results-oriented, possibly a cultural difference in communication style?

Ben: Perhaps. We'll need to be mindful of how we phrase things when we work with him.

Social Media Examples

  • Tweet: Tried to offer constructive criticism on their post, but really worried I came across as overly negative. Tone is so hard to get right in text! #Communication #OnlineEtiquette
  • Reddit Comment (AITA Am I The Asshole?): YTA. Based on how you described the interaction, you definitely came across as entitled and demanding.
  • LinkedIn Advice Post: When presenting virtually, be mindful of your body language and vocal tone. You want to come across as confident and engaged, not bored or distracted. #PresentationSkills #RemoteWork #CommunicationTips

Response Patterns

  • Agreement or disagreement with the stated perception, offering an alternative interpretation, expressing surprise, providing justification.
  • Yes, I got that impression too. / That's exactly how I felt.
  • Really? I didn't see him/her that way at all. I thought they came across as...
  • That's surprising to hear; he's usually quite friendly.
  • Maybe it's just his/her communication style? / Perhaps they were nervous?

Common Follow-up Questions/Actions

When discussing how someone comes across:

  • Ask for specific examples or reasons for the impression: What exactly did they say or do that made them come across that way?
  • Compare impressions with others: Did anyone else feel the same way? / What was your take?
  • Consider mitigating factors or alternative explanations: Could it be cultural differences? / Maybe they were just having a bad day?
  • Discuss the potential impact of that impression: Do you think that will affect their chances?

Conversation Starter

  • No.
  • Used mid-conversation to describe or discuss the impression someone or something (like an email) made.

Intonation

  • Emphasis usually falls on come and the descriptive word or phrase that follows as. He COMES ACROSS as ARROGANT. / She CAME ACROSS as very CONFIDENT.

Generation Differences

  • Widely understood and used by all generations. Standard part of modern English.

Regional Variations

  • Common in all major English-speaking regions.
Check out (something/someone)